When an individual, couple, or family seeks counseling with a desire to grow and change they can experience many benefits along their journey. Some of these benefits include, but are not limited to:

• Having someone share the burden of emotions while walking alongside you to help you discover new ways of coping with difficult problems and everyday life

• Learning new skills, like: better expression and management of emotions, coping skills for depression and anxiety, stress management, how to manage conflict with others, or how to make amends from past negative actions

• Finding a new perspective or purpose for oneself through a collaborative relationship with a counselor who can help the individual dissect and solve their problems

• Managing negative emotions through setting aside time in session to confront emotions caused by past experiences, trauma, or abuse

• Increasing insight, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation of oneself and others

• Understanding oneself and others and why they act or communicate the way they do

• Building a new appreciation and care for others while working to improve the relationship and communication with the individual, family, spouse, or friend

• Improving one’s motivation towards taking action through developing new skills and abilities that change one’s self or self-management

• Developing a stronger sense of self through increased emotional intelligence, ability to control oneself and one’s urges, increasing self-confidence and self-esteem, and self-awareness

• Forming a new understanding of self by changing self-defeating behaviors or habits

When we think of counseling we may think about what we have seen on TV and in the movies, but often what is portrayed is actually very inaccurate.  Thus, we’ve put together a small list of myths to help you understand what counseling is and help reduce any apprehension about your first visit.

Myth #1:  Counseling can only help people who are “crazy” or have severe problems.

FACT #1:  Only a small percentage of clients who seek counseling have severe mental illness or psychotic experiences.  Most clients who seek counseling are bright, capable, and stable individuals.  People find themselves struggling with specific problem areas that disrupt their everyday lives, and desire help to move beyond those stressors and difficulties like: sadness, grief, fear, stress, career transitions, and relationship issues.  It’s not “crazy” to seek out counseling services, but may in fact prevent problems from becoming more severe.

Myth #2:  Going to counseling can be a sign of weakness and people are going to believe there is something wrong with me if I pursue counseling.

FACT #2:  Seeking help takes courage and a great deal of emotional strength to confront problem areas, and take responsibility for your life.  Many people seek counseling just to improve their everyday great lives or to proactively manage and work through life’s difficult circumstances.  A counselor will offer an objective and nonjudgmental environment for the client to develop skills that will help them become the best they can be through encouragement, hope, honesty and healing.

Myth #3:  Counselors will give me advice on all my problems. 

FACT #3:  Counselors will not tell you what to do or judge your behavior.  They are present to walk with you on your journey to be an objective partner, and to guide you in finding answers to complex concerns.

Myth #4:  Mental health issues are a figment of my imagination and the only real people who can help are doctors who will prescribe me medication.

FACT #4:  Mental health issues are indeed actual problems today, affecting 1 in 5 adults and 1 in 10 minors (1) .  Mental health determines how our psychological, emotional, and social well being affect how we think, act, and feel.  Counselors receive advanced training to help clients with these problems and help them find relief.  A licensed counselor holds an advanced graduate degree and works for years under supervision of other experts.  If needed, counselors will collaborate with psychiatrists and trained medical doctors, to help a client find the best treatment for their symptoms and problem areas.  The psychiatrist may give medication to treat the biological symptoms, and counselors will address the psychological aspects of the client’s mental health.

Myth #5:  Once I go to counseling I’ll never be able to stop because a counselor will keep me in therapy forever!

FACT #5:  The counseling process can be both short-term or long-term depending on the severity of the problem, the willingness to change, insight and understanding of oneself, client goals, and the amount of work put in by the client outside of sessions.  Most counseling will be short-term lasting between eight to fifteen sessions, with a client finding some relief to their problems within 6 to 8 sessions.  A good counselor will be devoted to helping the client reach their goals and to providing the skills necessary to succeed apart from counseling.

Myth #6:  When I go to counseling I will sit on a couch and tell the counselor all my problems, while they just sit there, nod, and remain silent during the whole session.

FACT #6:  Many interpretations of counselors in movies have led to an unrealistic understanding of the role of a counselor.  There is the stereotype that a counselor is a mere human in the room listening but not engaging with the client in any way, then charging them exorbitant amounts of money for basically nothing.  These interpretations are actually false.  A counselor is an active participant in the counseling process by engaging the client in actively listening, asking questions, sharing empathy, and using interventions.  The counselor isn’t there to tell you what to do but to provide potential solutions and directions to explore.

Myth #7:  I need to be near divorce to benefit from couples counseling.

FACT #7:  Couples counseling can be beneficial at any point in a couple’s relationship.  Counseling can help mild to sever problems by helping the couple gain greater satisfaction and happiness in their relationship.  Some studies show that having a “checkup” can actually improve the longevity of a couple’s relationship (2).  Sadly, main couples avoid counseling until they are on the verge of leaving the relationship, divorcing their spouse, or willing to see beyond the hurt they are experiencing.  Counseling will not guarantee a positive outcome but will help them improve their relationship or make the best decision for its’ outcome.

Myth #8:  In couples counseling there will be one partner who is the villain while the other partner is seen as the positive one and doesn’t contribute to the problem at all.

FACT #8:  Couples counseling should focus on the relationship and how to improve the overall health of the relationship.  The counselor will gather information from both partners to gain a complete picture of what is happening in the relationship and then guide the couple towards making changes within themselves.  A healthy relationship is developed when each partner is willing to look at how they contribute to problems in the relationship and then make true lasting changes within themselves.  Therefore, in the process neither partner gets labelled as the villain but instead each person gains an understanding of how they contribute to the problem.

Counseling does not:  imply a person is “crazy,” include judging a client for any reason, provide easy or quick answers to the client’s problems, suggest the counselor will have all the answers, and will not go on forever and ever.

Resources:

(1) Any Mental Illness (AMI) Among Adults. (n.d.). Retrieved October 23, 2015, from http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-mental-illness-ami-among-adults.shtml

Counseling Awareness Month: Myths and Facts of Counseling - Blog . https://counseling.northwestern.edu/blog/counseling-awareness-month-myths-and-facts-of-counseling

(2) Gee, C. B., Scott, R. L., Castellani, A. M., & Cordova, J. V. (2002). Predicting 2-year marital satisfaction from partners’ discussion of their marriage checkup. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 28(4), 399-407.

National Alliance of Mental Health (NAMI). https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers